How Do I Know if I Can Trust My Desires in Discernment?

(Learn to Discern, Principle #13)

One of the most frequent issues that arises almost every time I talk about discernment is the role of personal desire in spiritual and practical discernment.

It might take the form of, “how do I know that this is what God wants and not just what I want?” or “I really want x, and so it’s probably not what I should do,” or, “I have always wanted to do y, but that’s irrelevant, right?”

Is personal desire something that belongs in discernment? Or is it the kind of thing that we should just disregard because it’s a massive distraction from what is really meant to be happening? How do I know if I can trust my desire?

Continue Reading

How Do I Know if I’m Actually Open to Hearing God? (Part I)

(Learn to Discern, Principle #12)

Have you ever found yourself asking God to speak to you, while hoping He’ll only say one particular thing?

“God do you want me to take this new job? Please say yes.”

But then you worry that your desire for only one answer makes you not really open to listening?

“I know it could be not the right job, but it’d be really great if it were the right job so… yes?”

You’re in a spot where you want to “be open,” but you don’t really feel open. You feel like you know what you want to hear.

Continue Reading

Embrace Silence

(Learn to Discern, Principle #10)

When was the last time you spent 10 minutes in total silence? No noise, no distractions, no background ambiance: just total, complete silence? This was a question I asked some high school students several years ago (before smart phones were even the norm.) Most of them said that they had never done so in their entire lives.

An entire life lived without ten minutes of silence.

Naturally, I assigned them this task as part of their homework. They had to go somewhere alone, preferably in nature, without electronic gadgets and without other people, to sit in total silence for 10 whole minutes. For those who were open to it, this kind of exercise actually changed their approach to life. They learned the value of contemplation and the benefits of settling their souls into stillness in a world of rush and busyness.

Why does silence hold such power? Why can a mere 10 minutes change us?

Continue Reading

Embracing the Art of Imperfection

Several years ago, I went to an evening of art and wine for ladies, where our host had arranged for us to make Jesse Tree ornaments. She had done the hard work of drawing all the art. Our job was fairly simple: we were to cut out the little drawings and glue them onto wooden ornaments.

Despite the kindergarten-level simplicity of the task, it was remarkably difficult to do perfectly. In fact, at one point she lamented that one of mine had been glued on crooked. I was frustrated at myself for messing up something so easy—but I had begun to work on letting go of perfectionism.

My response was that I knew it, but I wasn’t going to fix it. I forced myself to accept my mistake and move on. [Does it still bother me a little every year when we pull out the ornaments? You bet. But is it also a reminder to accept imperfection? Absolutely.]

Continue Reading

You Can Be Excellent Without Being a Perfectionist

If you are not a perfectionist, this post may not make much sense. (As ever, it’s important to know where you are to know where you need to aim. If you don’t suffer with perfectionism, the advice below probably doesn’t apply to you.)

As a Christian, I’ve really struggled with sorting out my perfectionism. Doesn’t the scripture exhort us to “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect”? If I want things to be perfect, isn’t that a good thing?

Turns out, perfection isn’t that simple. God’s perfection and my perfection are different things. Continue Reading