“Whatever you want more of, put that front and center.”
This piece of advice came to me in a Marie Forleo email about website design, but it also struck me as great life advice.
If I want more time with my family, it has to be front and center. If I want more personal growth, it has to be front and centre. If I want more of a spiritual life, it has to be front and centre.
But sometimes what I feel I want more of doesn’t line up with what is actually, currently, front and centre in my life.
Maybe I want more time with family, but my career is front and centre. Maybe I want more personal growth, but social events are front and centre. Maybe I want more of a spiritual life, but my hobbies are front and centre.
Sometimes what we think or say is important to us isn’t actually what we live out.
Have you ever felt dissatisfied with a space in your home, but aren’t quite sure why? You’d like to re-do it, but don’t know where to begin, because it isn’t clear exactly what’s wrong: is it the layout? The wall colors? The decorations? Whatever it is, it just isn’t working for you.
Before spending a load of money experimenting with throw pillows and new art, let alone expensive furniture or wall removal, there’s one essential design question to ask yourself.
What is the purpose of this space?
If you don’t know what you want the space to do for you, it’s hard to know how to make it work.
Is saying “no” difficult for you? I’ve always struggled with being a people-pleaser, so learning to say no has been a hard-won life-lesson for me. It’s much easier to say no when you know your yes. But this past year I have been learning to say no without feeling guilty about it, and it has been a life-changing.
Guilt can be useful when it alerts us to the fact that we have done something wrong: we want a child to feel guilty when he has punched his brother, for example. But people-pleasers struggle with a kind of false guilt that can accompany every instance of saying “no” – even when saying no is the right thing to do.
The difficulty is knowing when saying no is the right thing to do: especially when we are saying no to good things.
Can you imagine a business that decides to implement a new set of policies without considering whether or how any of the current policies are working? And can you imagine the results if that business had no concrete way to measure whether or how any of the current policies are working? Obviously, it would be a disaster.
But what about our personal lives? Do we ever stop to consider how and why we are doing things the we do? From our daily habits, to family living, to hobbies and skills, we can learn a lot from taking time to reflect back on what is and isn’t working, and why.
Good resolutions start with good reviews. Have you paused to take a good look at 2018?
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