It’s a problem most of us have faced at one time or another. We’re trying to make a good decision and so we begin to pray for God to speak to us, to enlighten us, to give us an answer. And we get… *crickets.* There’s nothing but silence.
So how do we practice discernment when God is silent?
Let’s consider the possibilities. When it seems like God is silent, either
(A) God is actually saying nothing, or
(B) God is saying something and I can’t/ won’t hear
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Discernment can’t really happen when we’re in a hurry – at least, not usually – because when we’re in a hurry, we aren’t poised to listen well. And the practice of discernment is mostly about listening well: to God, and to our own hearts in dialogue with him.
This doesn’t mean discernment can’t happen quickly. Sometimes, we need to make an important decision and outside circumstances limit the time we have to make it. If we practice discernment as a habit, if we are leading listening lives, then very often we can discern well in a short span of time.
But hurry is different. Hurry is a state of anxiousness and worry; fear is the driver when we’re in a hurry. We’re afraid we won’t make it in time, that there won’t be anything left, that someone or something won’t work well unless we’re the ones to oversee it.
There is no peace in hurry. There is no confidence that things will be ok because God is in control.
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One of the most frequent issues that arises almost every time I talk about discernment is the role of personal desire in spiritual and practical discernment.
It might take the form of, “how do I know that this is what God wants and not just what I want?” or “I really want x, and so it’s probably not what I should do,” or, “I have always wanted to do y, but that’s irrelevant, right?”
Is personal desire something that belongs in discernment? Or is it the kind of thing that we should just disregard because it’s a massive distraction from what is really meant to be happening? How do I know if I can trust my desire?
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Have you ever found yourself asking God to speak to you, while hoping He’ll only say one particular thing?
“God do you want me to take this new job? Please say yes.”
But then you worry that your desire for only one answer makes you not really open to listening?
“I know it could be not the right job, but it’d be really great if it were the right job so… yes?”
You’re in a spot where you want to “be open,” but you don’t really feel open. You feel like you know what you want to hear.
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When was the last time you spent 10 minutes in total silence? No noise, no distractions, no background ambiance: just total, complete silence? This was a question I asked some high school students several years ago (before smart phones were even the norm.) Most of them said that they had never done so in their entire lives.
An entire life lived without ten minutes of silence.
Naturally, I assigned them this task as part of their homework. They had to go somewhere alone, preferably in nature, without electronic gadgets and without other people, to sit in total silence for 10 whole minutes. For those who were open to it, this kind of exercise actually changed their approach to life. They learned the value of contemplation and the benefits of settling their souls into stillness in a world of rush and busyness.
Why does silence hold such power? Why can a mere 10 minutes change us?
