It’s a problem most of us have faced at one time or another. We’re trying to make a good decision and so we begin to pray for God to speak to us, to enlighten us, to give us an answer. And we get… *crickets.* There’s nothing but silence.
So how do we practice discernment when God is silent?
Let’s consider the possibilities. When it seems like God is silent, either
(A) God is actually saying nothing, or
(B) God is saying something and I can’t/ won’t hear
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Do you find yourself really sensitive to the feelings of others? Inclined to come away from an encounter with strong emotions you can’t account for? Wondering if others can “sense” the unspoken feelings floating around a room?
If so, you might be what various personality typing systems call “highly intuitive”, an “empath”, or “highly sensitive.” These labels can’t tell you anything you don’t already know, but gaining a deeper understanding of the common experience of others like you can help you to understand yourself better. It can help you to deal with your own experiences better, too.
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Most of us, at one time or another, have found ourselves caught in the loop of wondering: is God speaking to me? Am I hearing correctly? Or am I hearing only what I want to hear? How do I know if I’m actually open to what God has to say?
Part I considered how our openness to God isn’t necessarily tied to any particular emotional feeling, but rather has to be understood in the context of our lives as a whole. How we live indicates how much weight our deeper desires should carry in the process of our discernment which unfolds in conversation with God.
The question “am I truly open to hearing God?” can only be answered in light of the more fundamental question: do I live like I’m open to God? Because how we live determines if we make space for God regularly. We’re usually open to hearing God if we’re leading a listening kind of life.
How do we know if we’re leading a listening kind of life?
Here’s what it entails:
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Have you ever found yourself asking God to speak to you, while hoping He’ll only say one particular thing?
“God do you want me to take this new job? Please say yes.”
But then you worry that your desire for only one answer makes you not really open to listening?
“I know it could be not the right job, but it’d be really great if it were the right job so… yes?”
You’re in a spot where you want to “be open,” but you don’t really feel open. You feel like you know what you want to hear.
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Do you dread difficult conversations? I don’t know anyone who looks forward to them, although rhinos do tend to mind them less than hedgehogs. Unfortunately, difficult conversations are a part of life; fortunately, there are some ways to make them a little easier.
Often when we’re caught in a difficult conversation, we want either the circumstances or the other person to change. Very often, they don’t. Or won’t. But making a difficult conversation easier starts with what we can actually control: our own expectations and attitudes.
Here are some practical steps to take:
