Seek Wise Guidance

(Learn to Discern, Principle #9)

Have you ever found yourself looking for help with difficult decision, only to leave the conversation feeling like the other person’s ideas just didn’t fit?  Or worse, have you ever followed a piece of advice, only to realise later that it was terrible advice for you, even if the person giving it meant well? Maybe you’ve received good advice, but were in a place where you just weren’t ready to hear it?

It seems like there are very few occasions in life that are helped by direct advice: either it doesn’t really work for our unique situation, or we need to move forward on our own in order to discover our own best path.

Of course, sometimes in the process of discernment, we can get stuck in our own heads, trapped in a circle of thoughts that don’t seem to lead anywhere. Our position as an ‘insider’ to our own situation can make us unable to see outside things. Sometimes we can even miss things that are glaringly obvious! Continue Reading

Maximizing Prayer

Have you ever had a difficult decision to make, and found yourself praying, “Lord, you decide. Just tell me, and I’ll do it!”?  I know I have.

In his podcast on “Four helpful rules for discernment,” Fr. Mike Schmitz points out that sometimes (not every time, but sometimes,) we ask God what His Will is, for the simple reason that we don’t want to make the decision.

It might seem really godly of us to do whatever the Father wills – but sometimes it’s an excuse for us not taking responsibility for our own choices. Continue Reading

The Sign You’ve Been Looking For

(Learn to Discern, Principle #8)

Have you ever prayed for a sign? Maybe you were in the midst of a confusing situation, or discerning different alternatives, or just plain old frustrated and unable to tell what the best path was.

Praying for signs seems to be a pretty common human experience, whether someone considers themselves to be spiritual or not. We all have moments where we want a very clear answer about what to do.

But the problem with signs, I’ve noticed, is that they are difficult to notice!

Sometimes that difficulty is a result of our own over-thinking; sometimes it’s the result of our own blindness; and sometimes that difficulty is actually the sign we have been looking for all along. Continue Reading

You Can’t Be Where You Aren’t (or: Start Where You Are)

(Learn to Discern, Principle #7)

Have you ever been lost in an unfamiliar place, maybe a new city or a national park, and realize that you have no idea where you are? You know exactly where you want to go – where you wish you were – but the problem is that you can’t begin to get there because you don’t know where you are right now?

And then you stumble upon a map, and it goes one of two ways: either you are really frustrated, because the map doesn’t tell you where you are, and you still can’t work it out! or, there is one of those wonderful “you are here” stickers, which makes all the difference. Now you can actually figure out how to get where you are going.

Life is pretty similar. Many times, we have a pretty good idea of where we wish we were. We know where we want to go. But we can’t get there, because we don’t know – or perhaps we aren’t honest – about where we are right now. Continue Reading

Try it Out

(Learn to Discern, Principle #6)

When working as a university professor, I had more than one conversation with a student that followed these lines:

Me: What are you studying for your major field?

Student: Accounting.

Me: That’s great- so you really enjoy accounting?

Student: I’m not sure.

Me: You aren’t sure if you like it? Why are you studying it?

Student: I just need something that pays and I heard accountants make good money.

It baffled me that they could spend four years of their lives, go into debt, and plan to spend several decades doing something they weren’t even sure they liked. Continue Reading